Rob on Happiness….

( rob is just about to publish the book called “The Eccentric Universe“, which follows after his first “A TRUE BRITISH ECCENTRIC”   ) 

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“-          Sad people cannot become happy simply by someone telling them to become happy – there are complex personal triggers and events that do this.

-          When a major positive event hits someone’s life then the feeling of elation can last for a few weeks – each one of those days feels like their birthday.

-          Relationships, sex, eating, exercise, music and success all bring happiness – wealth is not on this list! “

 

One notable human characteristic is that when people are in a sad frame of mind, it is nigh on impossible for them to be happy by pretending to be happy. It is impossible for a person to be confident in a situation where they feel unconfident. When someone is nervous, it is impossible for them to be calm. There seems to be an inbuilt source of feelings within people that spark them into life or knock them over with a sledgehammer.

This is one reason why people say, “Money cannot buy you happiness,” quite simply because it is not possible to wave a magic wand and instantly make a sad person happy. Lottery winners may be happy for a short period of time immediately after a win, but as time goes by the feeling of joy will wear off as the person returns to routine and normality.

I experienced a tremendously uplifting feeling of happiness upon publishing my first book. It was very similar to the feeling I get when it is my birthday. Every single day for about four weeks I experienced a heightened level of happiness – just as if it were my eighteenth birthday. I bounced around, telling everyone about my new book.

Then suddenly it became normal. I would not talk about my book so much and people would have to prompt me to mention it.

I remember the wonderful feeling; you cannot relay this type of experience to anyone, they have to witness it for themselves. When people ask me to sign a book I do it calmly now. Initially I was so excited, it was indescribable.

Research has highlighted a number of factors that correlate with happiness. Relationships and social interaction, extraversion, marital status, employment, health, democratic freedom, optimism, religious involvement, income, proximity to other happy people and our good old friend, eccentricity – in positive doses, they all relate to happiness.

Happiness is very much associated with other people’s happiness too.

Pleasing other people seems to be just as important an aspect of attaining happiness as pleasing yourself. Making your boss happy, making your friends happy and making your family happy, all contribute towards your own happiness.

Happiness is a state of mind personified by contentment, love, satisfaction, pleasure and joy. Defining happiness and identifying its sources is challenging.

Michael Argyle, 1925 – 2002, one of the best known English social psychologists of the twentieth century, studied happiness in tremendous detail. In 1987 he published his work, ‘The Psychology of Happiness’, within which he listed and discussed empirical findings on happiness, including that happiness is promoted by relationships, sex, eating, exercise, music and success, but probably not by wealth!

Michael Argyle’s work identified the underlying elements to happiness which can be gauged, monitored and improved.

Happiness includes thoughts about the way you feel about yourself. Whether you feel pleased with the way you are, whether you feel life is rewarding, whether you feel warm towards almost everyone, whether you feel life is good, whether you feel you are in control of your life, whether you feel you could take anything on, whether you feel healthy, and whether you feel mentally alert.

Happiness is also related to physical elements of your life. Whether you feel rested after sleep, whether you commit and get involved, whether there is a gap between what you would like to do and what you have done, whether you can find time to do everything you want to do, whether you have energy, and whether you have an influence on events.

Happiness is also impacted by your outlook on life. Whether you are interested in other people, whether you feel optimistic about the future, whether you think the world is a good place, whether you think you look attractive, whether you see beauty in things, whether you find it easy to make decisions, and whether you have a sense of purpose in life.

Happiness is also affected by your level of pleasure and satisfaction. Whether you find things amusing, whether you laugh sufficiently, whether you are satisfied about everything in your life, whether you have a cheerful effect on others, whether you experience joy and elation, whether you have fun with other people, and whether you have happy memories of the past.

Combine all these factors together and you will get an appreciation of your overall level of happiness. At various times in your life you can reflect upon the changing elements of your degree of happiness.

Professor David Lykken, 1928 – 2006, was a behavioural geneticist at the University of Minnesota. His research studying identical twins found that approximately fifty per cent of people’s happiness is inherent within their genes. He found that when twins were brought up in different houses, fifty per cent of their happiness still correlated. Approximately ten per cent of their happiness was as a result of measureable life circumstances, such associoeconomic status, marital status, health, income and sex. The remaining forty per cent is a combination of factors including actions that people deliberately engage in to become happier. These actions may vary from person to person, but some examples are human interaction, exercise, reading, general hobbies and charitable work.

Perhaps more people should be confident within their lives and take happiness more seriously. People should perhaps spend time enjoying life for the moment rather than working towards being happy – it may never come!

It is the moment in hand that really matters, there is little point reflecting upon past happiness. Reflecting upon past happiness is just one tiny aspect of your overall current happiness.

Aristotle stated that happiness is the only thing that humans desire for its own sake, unlike riches, honour, health or friendship. He observed that men sought riches, honour, or health not only for their own sake but also in order to be happy.

Happiness is characteristic of a quality life, a life in which someone fulfills human nature in a first-rate fashion. Everyone has a set of purposes which are typically human and belong to our nature, personality, temperament and disposition.

A happy person has outstanding abilities and emotional tendencies which fulfill their broad-spectrum of human desires.